Wednesday, 26 January 2011

A Higher Power, or Hemingway?

Last year, after the ectopic, I went through a difficult time. Hope of that baby gone, hope of any baby ever receding into the distance. After coming home from the hospital, my husband went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription and banned me from going online while he was gone, as he didn't want me sitting there upsetting myself.

The internet wasn't going to upset me, as I was already devastated. I sat down and wrote out a very long email to my friend in Australia, describing what had happened, with the title of the message as 'therapy.' I had to get it all out, as I still couldn't believe that day had even happened. It was endless, surreal and now, mercifully, fading into memory.

I remember, when I was wondering how people deal with loss and grief, thinking about the phrase that the things that are sent to test us are only as much as we can handle. Or something to that effect. However I just tried to look it up, and apparently as an actual Biblical phrase it doesn't exist! It is just interpreted in that way. It's strange how it has been interpreted in that way, and has passed into cultural understanding.

So instead, I will leave some words of Ernest Hemingway, which I also thought of a lot at the time. I thought only of the first part of this famous quote, and so I will not post it all. I will selectively quote to suit my meaning. Anyone who wants to go further and look up the rest are welcome to, but I do not hold to the full meaning and will not allow it to affect my mindset.

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.

A Farewell to Arms, 1929

1 comment:

China Doll said...

A good quote.. I'm happy to stick with just this section too xx