Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Sleepless in Seoul

I usually sleep quite well. I wake up if the cat decides to jump on me, but generally he's well behaved and doesn't do that. But last night I woke up at 1am and ended up lying there for two hours, doing everyone's least favourite thing: worrying.

The worry went through the usual: work, money and IVF. Work because we have an important couple of days this week which I am not ready for yet. Money because I am always worried about money.

IVF: I will finally be getting the Day 3 bloods done this month, and my doctor wants to do a HyCoSy as well, so he has his own data, rather than a letter in Spanish he doesn't understand. Also we have to collect my husband's analysis results. And there are still many things that we could be told are wrong or might delay treatment. I'm also worried about my cycle being a bit irregular now - what if he wants me to keep track of it for a few months and put things off further?

And so the cycle of worry went, from one topic to another, round and round for a couple of hours. So frustrating. I tried telling myself that worrying will not change any outcome to any tests and there is nothing I can do at this point, but surprisingly this made no difference.

So tired, and have to get into work early.

3 comments:

luckyme said...

Such a strange time of night, ready for you to fill it with your worries. You must have such a lot on your mind with tests/results on the horizon. I hope you are able to sleep better tonight.

China Doll said...

Sometimes the brain just won't switch off, will it? But maybe that processing time was what you needed and you'll be able to worry less in the next couple of weeks? (Even though it's annoying your subconscious couldn't do the processing whilst you were asleep!) Btw, I wouldn't imagine that an irregular cycle would postpone the IVF :)

Kat said...

I slept much better last night, probably due to exhaustion from a bad night's sleep and a really stressful day. I know that an irregular cycle probably won't postpone anything, I think it was just one of those things that my brain was latching onto. It was the cause of the irregular cycle I was worried about!