Two posts today, though the earlier one was a bit 'nothing' so I don't feel bad about it.
I've made a a tough decision about work over the past few weeks. A while back I posted about a training opportunity that is coming up that takes a whole year, but would provide significant advancement opportunities. I was unsure whether to go for it, as while I don't want to put my life on hold for a pregnancy that may not happen, I also didn't want to take a place, and then drop out later, while someone who can finish the course might have missed out on an opportunity because of me.
I've decided, after a lot of thought, not to go for it. I really want to, but I also know that realistically if I do I would have put baby-making on hold for that year. I see the people doing the training course this year, who are all mega stressed and combine that with the stress of IVF... no thank you. I prefer to trundle along at work in my current role for another year, and be able to pursue fertility treatment without any additional stress.
I've been back and forth on this for weeks now, but ultimately I came to the decision that I wasn't willing to put IVF on hold. I was really down for most of last year, and it was only when we started pursuing ttc again that my mood lifted. I know that I can't go back to doing nothing, at least not at the moment.
I also looked at the situation logically, and reminded myself that this year is not the only opportunity I will ever have to do this training - I can do it in five or ten years even. I have at least 30 years left of my working life, I'm sure I'll have the chance somewhere in there. I have a bit of an obsession with people who are my age being 'better' than me, and I need to stop that.
It's weird because even though our lives and working lives are getting longer, our fertile years aren't (by much anyway) I've been dwelling on it a bit with making my decision, and then when I saw this story today I knew I'd made the right choice.