I'm going to talk about something very personal which you don't see much of on the IF blogs (for clear reasons): my sex life.
Before we knew we had problems conceiving, we had a pretty normal sex life (so far as I know anyway!). But then I had the ectopic, and then we were told that we couldn't conceive without serious help, and everything changed.
I found I felt very sad after sex. I realised quite quickly it was because the hope of making a baby had been removed. We had been trying for over a year, and I hadn't given up the idea that it might happen for us. I would have that hope,and it was then taken away.
After that I kind of wondered what the point was. Things like intimacy and pleasure didn't seem enough any more. Sex just didn't have the joy it had had before. From the fact that my husband didn't really protest about the lack of sex he was(n't) having suggests to me he felt the same or similar. He's quite uncomfortable discussing these kinds of things directly, so I don't know for sure.
I've had to reprogram the way I think about sex, and try to return to my younger years before I was ever trying for a baby. It's been difficult and sad, and to be honest I'm not there yet.
This makes going back to trying the old fashioned way this cycle somewhat strange. I had just kind of got used to sex not being about baby making anymore, and now it is again (even though the chances are small, or possibly non existent). I feel like I'm reconnecting emotionally with my husband again in a way that we haven't for a long while.
It's really difficult to put this into words, because I'm not 100% sure what I'm actually feeling, and also while I'm happy enough talking about speculums and ultrasound wands, actually talking about sex seems far more personal!