Thursday, 7 July 2011

6dp3dt Spotting

I honestly don't think I could have had a worse start to today. I need to rewind to last night to begin this tale...

I was getting ready to go to bed when I notice I'm spotting. Kind of red/pink. Not a huge amount but enough to notice. At this point I guess I was 5 and a half dp3dt. Holy f*cking shit - it's too early for AF to have shown up, surely? I had mentally prepared myself that she might show on Saturday at the earliest, but on Wednesday night. No no no no no!

I tdl my husband, who of course says 'calm down, it could be nothing.' Cue hysterics on my part, which included the classic line 'just because you tell me to calm down doesn't mean I'm not feeling what I'm feeling' or some other slightly confused sentence.

TMI warning!

Nothing was 'flowing' particularly, nor what I would call bright red. In the back of my head I suddenly thought about implantation bleeding, it being 5dt3dt, but that only happens to like 30% of women or something. With nothing to be done, I went to bed.

A long night followed of not sleeping much, obsessively going to the bathroom to check if I was still spotting and deciding what colour said spotting was. I managed to avoid consulting Dr Internet, and just lay in bed obsessing. I woke my husband at 1am to cry hysterically. I was also going over how I could duck out of work to get to the clinic if I needed to (it was a big day today). This didn't help my mental state. To be honest with you it got lighter as the night went on, and by around 2.30am I managed to convince myself that it was likely an implantation bleed. I think I did this solely in order to finally fall asleep. I fell asleep.

And dreamed of positive hpts. It was my hpt, but for some reason it wasn't my baby, I was a surrogate or something. But I was pregnant. I woke up at 4.30, feeling warm and happy, and I did not want to move to break the spell of the dream.

But move I did because today was one of my 5.30 mornings, and was faced with more spotting. It was quite heavy, but that was partly because I had been lying down for a couple of hours. I showered and it seemed to have stopped, but when I did my progesterone gel there was brown blood on the applicator.

I went out of the bathroom with wet feet onto the wood floor, stepped over the cat, slipped and fell straight on my arse in the dark. I also hit my leg on the dining room table, and landed hard on my wrist. I screeched and started crying, again. My husband got up and gave me a hug, but all I could do then was put on my big girl hat and get ready for work. I had a 7am class I had to get to. There was no one to cover me. I then had 3 hours of training. I now have 3 more hours of teaching.

The spotting has reduced now, a lot, but I'm terrified of going to the bathrrom. I called my clinic first thing and the nurse said as it isn't a heavy bleed and also as I'm not in any pain I should just continue as normal until my beta day and keep doing my progesterone. She said it could be implanation, or it could be random spotting. There is no was to tell until the beta. They did say I could come in this morning if I wanted to, but as they probably wouldn't do anything and it had reduced a bit I didn't want to waste my time. I can always go in tomorrow or Saturday if things get worse.

I am really hating this 2WW. I knew it was going to be stressful and all consuming, but I wasn't prepared for this.

11 comments:

KC said...

What a terrible night. I am having the same experience. I have the worst cramps, an upset stomach and some serious back cramps. I know it is my af signs and I am unbelievable upset. I am praying for you that it is just implantation bleeding. It does happen and I hope you are part of the 30%. Praying for you!!

China Doll said...

Oh Kat, what an awful night :( The 2ww is bad enough without this added stress. It really does seem too early to be AF and so many women have implantation/random spotting that it could totally be that. But I know that doesn't make the waiting any easier. Thinking of you xx

Red Power Ranger said...

I think it sounds more promising than not! There is no way it can be af, not that early! Hope your butt is ok today...!

Cattiz J said...

Shit, I truly hope the spotting stops and you can have a good night sleep again. You really don't need the added stress during this time!

Kat said...

Hi ladies,

Thanks so much for your comments. Things have calmed down a lot over the day, but I'm so scared of seeing red blood again.

I thought I was mentally prepared for the cycle failing, but now I'm not so sure that I am. The thought of that red blood is breaking my heart. :-(

knitting vixen said...

(hugs).... I hope it's just implantation Kat.... fingers crossed xxxxx

Sara said...

How awful! Objectively, I think it's probably a good sign, given the timing, but I would freak out as well. Hugs.

lostintranslation said...

Jikes! Not something you want added to the usual 2WW stress. I'm glad things calmed down again and I hope it stays that way. I had intended to comment on your previous post that the frequent peeing and the fatigue were my very early pregnancy signs after my first IVF, so hope they'll mean the same for you! Hang in there.

embracingtherain said...

Kat, I hope that it was implantation bleeding and that the rest of your TWW goes smooth and is less stressful.

luckyme said...

How stressful. Seems too early for AF Everything crossed for you that it's implantation! Hope you manage to get some sleep x

C said...

((HUGS))

How awful, the sleeplessness and spotting. Hopefully it's implantation spotting. Another thing, if you're on Crinone gel, that can cause spotting too.

Thinking of you!!