Friday, 8 July 2011

Friday 7dp3dt

First off, thank you so much for your comments on yesterday's post. It was a really bad night, but thanks to you ladies and my work colleagues, who are funny, warm and generally just the nicest people, I got through the day without having a break down.


I'm not in the mood to compose a logically ordered post, so I'm going to bullet point the not very interesting round up.

  • TMI warning. By the end of yesterday the spotting had turned in to discharge from the progesterone gel I'm on. I looked it up and apparently it's pretty normal for the gel to build-up and then either come out on its own or need to be cleared manually (gross either way) I've basically had brown sludge coming out for the last day. It's really gross, but at least it's not still in there, right? Sorry about the visual.
  • I've had a headache all day. I ended up sleeping my afternoon away, but it's still here. I felt guilty (as today is one of my weekend days) until I remembered what my body has been through over the last few weeks, not even thinking about the IUI cycles before that. I deserve the break
  • I had one, normal sized glass of red wine with my dinner last night. I went back and forth on it but I had had such a stressful night/day before I gave in. But it was just one, I had it with food, and it helped me get to sleep easily (some times if I'm over tired I find it really difficult to sleep.) I don't think it can have had any affect on the cycle.
  • I broke and POAS this morning. Clearly it was negative otherwise this post would be very different. But it's really early still, it wasn't even FMU, and it was one of my crappy internet cheapies (which if this cycle is a failure I'm never ordering any more of.) The FR tests I ordered from the UK haven't showed yet, because I didn't dare order them until after the transfer. I'll test again when the FRs show up, though I might just use up my supplies of cheapies so I can feel I'm doing something.
  • My boobs hurt a lot less today, and I haven't had any cramping since before the bleed. I know those are symptoms of the progesterone gel, but it's not making me feel very confident about the cycle.
  • I have a big, painful lump about 2 inches across on my leg from where I fell over yesterday. Once the bruise comes out properly I'll take a picture for your viewing pleasure.
I'm feeling quite pessimistic about the cycle (which I think is my default position every cycle actually, my regular readers will probably agree.) which I know is a defence mechanism if/when it is a failure. Please don't tell me to remain positive. There is still hope there, but I need a healthy dose of pessimism to cushion the fall that might come soon.

8 comments:

knitting vixen said...

HI Kat, have been checking your blog every 5 minutes dying to get an update.

Great that the spotting has stopped.

I will not tell you to think positively, I agree, it is better to provide some kind of cushion in case the best doesn't happen.

That said, my fingers are firmly crossed for you and I really hope you get a positive result.

Whether you do or don't, you know we will all be here, supporting you.

Sara said...

Been there done that regarding the gel. It's gross, but SO much better than the injections. I had lumps on my arse for at least a month after stopping those with my first cycle.

I'm another that won't tell you to think positively. I haven't found that it helps for me, in terms of success or in terms of how I feel after it's over. I will just continue to wish for a happy outcome for you.

luckyme said...

Well, you know how I feel about the P word ;)and I had pessary sludge rather than gel, such a messy time. Glad to hear that apart from this you've had no further spotting. Thinking of you x

KC said...

Kat, I am in the same boat too. I am doing rectal supposits (I know gross) but I am "spottting" dark brown blood. It is so depressing but maybe we will be part of the 30% of women who bleed before their BFP. I am having a hard time staying optomistic but I am doing my best not to completely give up!

C said...

Sounds completely normal and I understand the need to remain pessimistic; trust me, I do.

The suppositories are just a nasty part of IVF. Gross, but necessary.

Thinking of you and please do take care. I know what a difficult time this is.

((HUGS))

Michele said...

I think we all default to pessimism, and that's ok, whatever gets you through.

Glad to hear the spotting has stopped.

May be you can come up with some really cool story about how you got the bruise incase someone

JMM said...

Hi Kat--
Been stalking your every appt...ohhh that sounds kinda creepy:P haha! I am glad your spotting has stopped, sorry you had a crappy morning the other day...I'm quietly rooting for you. Hoping for good things for you! Hope you have a restful weekend!

Red Power Ranger said...

I agree, when you dont lift yourself full of (false) hope, the fall is so much softer. Ive been raised way too many times and had a whopper of a stack on the way back down to earth.

Rest and take care..xo