I'm not in the mood to compose a logically ordered post, so I'm going to bullet point the not very interesting round up.
- TMI warning. By the end of yesterday the spotting had turned in to discharge from the progesterone gel I'm on. I looked it up and apparently it's pretty normal for the gel to build-up and then either come out on its own or need to be cleared manually (gross either way) I've basically had brown sludge coming out for the last day. It's really gross, but at least it's not still in there, right? Sorry about the visual.
- I've had a headache all day. I ended up sleeping my afternoon away, but it's still here. I felt guilty (as today is one of my weekend days) until I remembered what my body has been through over the last few weeks, not even thinking about the IUI cycles before that. I deserve the break
- I had one, normal sized glass of red wine with my dinner last night. I went back and forth on it but I had had such a stressful night/day before I gave in. But it was just one, I had it with food, and it helped me get to sleep easily (some times if I'm over tired I find it really difficult to sleep.) I don't think it can have had any affect on the cycle.
- I broke and POAS this morning. Clearly it was negative otherwise this post would be very different. But it's really early still, it wasn't even FMU, and it was one of my crappy internet cheapies (which if this cycle is a failure I'm never ordering any more of.) The FR tests I ordered from the UK haven't showed yet, because I didn't dare order them until after the transfer. I'll test again when the FRs show up, though I might just use up my supplies of cheapies so I can feel I'm doing something.
- My boobs hurt a lot less today, and I haven't had any cramping since before the bleed. I know those are symptoms of the progesterone gel, but it's not making me feel very confident about the cycle.
- I have a big, painful lump about 2 inches across on my leg from where I fell over yesterday. Once the bruise comes out properly I'll take a picture for your viewing pleasure.
I'm feeling quite pessimistic about the cycle (which I think is my default position every cycle actually, my regular readers will probably agree.) which I know is a defence mechanism if/when it is a failure. Please don't tell me to remain positive. There is still hope there, but I need a healthy dose of pessimism to cushion the fall that might come soon.