I am awake at stupid o'clock this morning - blame a 4am mosquito - and dwelling, somewhat gloomily, on our situation.
There have been quite a few positives this week, as I predicted there would be. I am happy for everyone who got their positive over the last week, but I am also depressed about my own inability to conceive.
I don't know that I can do IVF again. Does that make me weak? I just keep dwelling on the injections and the surgery and the stress of the two week wait and the devastation when it doesn't work.
And adoption right now is not an option for several reasons. Firstly, we don't live in our home country, and at the moment, given the recent changes to the visa laws for foreign students to the UK, we'd be unlikely to get full time, permanent jobs in our field. (Thanks for destroying an industry in the name of national security UK government - forget all the teachers, support staff and host families who are losing their jobs and income, in order to keep out people who are trying to learn the language and integrate into our culture. Really, well done.) Also, given the financial situation we would be unlikely to be able to buy a home in the UK for quite a while.
Therefore, we wouldn't be able to go through the rigmarole of the adoption process. I have half thought about looking into what the rules would be for trying to adopt internally while we are here in Korea, but we don't have residency (that's another long torturous process right there) and wouldn't be able to apply for it for another four years.
I hate the way my mind works at stupid o'clock.