Sunday, 27 November 2011

November Ends

November has chugged along. I have been in turns up and down. I have been fine with my infertility; I have been upset by pregnancy announcements and birth announcements which have been coming thick and fast through the month. I have been disturbed and irritated by the media. Especially this article yesterday that brought me close to tears at the thought of someone having one of those dolls and pretending it was real, and then knowing it wasn't in turns, and the pain it would cause. We're trying really hard not to treat the cat like a baby.

I have been sewing and knitting and things at work have been capital-C-crazy. I can't explain what has been going on, as we have been told not to discuss it openly until the situation is fully resolved in March next year. Let's just say it's inconvenient, irritating and no-one is looking forward to the next few months. And we're not being compensated for the situation either.

Christmas rushes on, bringing the dread of seeing family for the first time in nearly two years and having to field the 'when are you going to have kids' questions. I think my answer will be 'you tell me' as I'm pretty sure the universe has some bizarre plans for my husband and I where it comes to offspring.


Saturday, 12 November 2011


It's Saturday morning, and I slept late (until ten). I don't really like to do this because on a Sunday I have to get up at seven for work, so I don't like to oversleep the day before. I also hate wasting my day off. I already 'wasted' yesterday with a mild hangover. In fact it was wasted by knitting part of a jumper, then realising that I wasn't going to have enough wool to finish it. I then unravelled it and started a different pattern.

I actually don't really have much to do today. I have plans this afternoon for a few hours. Otherwise my day is free. It's a nice day, still sunny despite it being November, and I wasn't attacked by marauding mosquitos in the night (despite it being November, they are crazy this year).

AF spotting started on Thursday, so I guess CD1 is right around the corner, as in later today. That will make my cycle a full 35-6 days this time. 

Off the back of this I've made the decision to definitely wait until January to start again. I don't want any more drugs right now. I want to give my body a break. All I took for the FET was some HRT drugs and progesterone, but still. The thought of the combination that would be going into my body for another fresh  cycle makes me feel tired already.

I have made the decision to probably not do overtime in January (which is a lucrative option) which I suspect is because I subconsciously want to get back on the horse again with treatments.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Long Day

Today is my long day at work, but I am determined not to collapse into bed as soon as I come in the door so I thought I may as well write a blog post.

It's CD32 and AF hasn't shown yet. I have not POAS, and I'm pretty sure writing these words will hasten CD1 on its way. Ever since my ectopic my cycle has been longer anyway, though it might have been longer before that as well, I just never really kept much track of it. I just always assumed it was 28 days.

I've been working, a lot, and trying not to think about infertility. Things are more or less fine, though I hate my schedule this term and have a couple of really long days.

I'm also trying to do Nanowrimo, but it's not going so well so far. I'm pretty far behind at the moment, though I still have time to catch up. 

We had the news at work today that our office is moving, though probably not very far and not until March, so we don't have to worry too much about it until after Christmas. We're all quite pleased about it though (as our office now is really cramped and old), and are hoping that we'll move to an area with better lunch options.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Addison has four eggs... they're called follicles, dummie!

Call yourself a fertility doctor.

If you watch Private Practice, you'll know what I'm talking about.

I've suspected for a while that the creator of Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and the now-cancelled Off the Map might have some fertility issues. Or someone in her team must, right? Or at the very least they are trying to raise awareness of the commonness of infertility. Lets examine the evidence:

  • Grey's Anatomy: Meredith has an early miscarriage from an accidental conception, then trouble conceiving again. She and Derek go through fertility treatments, which they have to give up because of side effects. Now trying to get their adopted baby back through the courts after having her taken away.
  • Private Practice: Addison, who first made moves to have a baby with donated sperm about six years ago only to be told she 'didn't have any eggs', is doing IVF. OK, actually she was told she had high FSH, but the show repeated used the line 'I don't have any eggs.'  It's a fairly well told storyline, except for the ridiculous weeping on day one of stimms.
  • Off the Map: Spanish Lady Doctor (I can't remember her name, give me a break, it's cancelled) had endometriosis, and openly declared that she couldn't have children.  
So, unless they received some audience research that infertile women in particular watch these programs and they're playing to their audience, I would suspect there is something else going on.

I'm not finding the Private Practice storyline too irritating- except when the doctor said she had four eggs while looking at an ultrasound of her ovary- I did actually shout 'it's called a follicle!' Overall though I feel  it's being done quite respectfully and without that tone of 'aren't infertile women hysterical and hilarious when they're doing treatments' that you get in some dramas.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011


Time to update, bullet style:
  • It's November, which means National Novel Writing Month. This is my 5th year, and hopefully my 4th success (I epically failed last year). Currently on target (on day 2 - big whoop). Best aid to writing ever btw - white noise generator. Apparently Jonathan Franzen uses one. My writerly friend turned me onto it. It's awesome, plus also seems to calm the cat down a bit.
  • Knitting and stuff continues at a rate of knots (no pun intended). I have two projects 'on needles' at the moment, which I want to finish before starting a new one.
  • I've started Korean language classes, after four years of living in the country - yes, it is embarrassing but I'm trying to put it right at least.
  • The countdown to Christmas begins (at work at least) as I start to plan the Christmas parties for our centre
  • No decisions made as yet about treatments.