Thursday, 5 April 2012

Closing Time

We've decided that we're not going to pursue having a baby through IVF for a while, perhaps indefinitely. As the process has gone on I've felt more and more that it wasn't/isn't the right course for us, at least at this time. There are other things going on that I need to focus on, and that will take us into the next year at least.

Because of this decision, I've also decided to stop blogging, and for the most part to stop reading within the ALI community. I'm going to leave the site up, but I will disable comments soon as I don't want the blog to become a dumping ground for advertising.

My decision to step away from the ALI community has been difficult, but I've found that blogging, and reading other blogs has made me more introspective and involved in my infertility than I perhaps would have been otherwise. The same goes for me and journalling. I become far more tangled up in my feelings when I'm writing them down.

Blogging, and my continued failure to have a baby, has made me very aware of my complex feelings connected to the whole thing, and for that I'm grateful. I'm also grateful to everyone for their kind, thoughtful comments over the year or so I've been blogging on this issue.

The nature of the posts on this blog means that I don't feel comfortable reworking it to another topic. It's a shame but anonymity is important to me, especially to a lot of people in my personal life who don't know about our infertility. If I start blogging on some other topic, I will post a link on this site, but at the moment I don't know if I will.

Thanks again to everyone for their support, and I'm hoping that your journey to have a child goes more smoothly than mine has so far!



Jaclyn said...

Good luck to you and your family! I hope that you find your path as easily as possible, and have luck with whichever life choices you make. Thanks for sharing your story with us, and we will always wish you well.

Anonymous said...

Kat.. So sorry but 100% with you. Infertility is only 2% of my thoughts when I'm not on here. I take on others pain, it really doesn't help whe you are on here for a long time. I've hit 3yrs ttc now, and I'm sick of my own voice on infertility.

I hope you find happiness away from this world. Baby or no baby, I wish you a healthy happy life mate..

Tee xx

marwil said...

I think that is very wise if you don't feel writing here help at the moment. You can always come back in the future whenever you wish.

Best of luck whatever your path will be.

JustHeather said...

Kat, I'm sorry this journey has been so long and that it has taken its toll on you and your loved ones. I hope you are able to find what it is you need in this world and life to make you feel complete.
Thinking of you and wishing you the best in pursuing what makes you happy and at peace.

China Doll said...

I hope that you're feeling some sort of calm now that you've made your decision, even though I know it can't have been easy. Thinking of you xxx

Sara said...

Hi Kat,

I'm sorry that your journey has been so difficult, and hope that making this decision is the first step toward a brighter future.

Best of luck moving forward!


Michele said...

So sorry it has come to this. Wishing you and yours the best.

DandelionBreeze... aka NYMum said...

Sorry to hear what you're going through and can completely understand your decision... I feel as though I might be getting closer to giving IVF up too. Thinking of you from a far xoxo

knitting vixen said...

Kat, I will miss you and your blogs but I totally understand and respect your decision.
I agree that blogging can perhaps exacerbate ill feelings. I have sometimes stepped away having had similar thoughts.

Good luck to you and your OH x

Stork Chaser said...

I completely understand and wish you the best of luck in life. I'm new to blogging and it has helped me immensely, but I think it has also made me a little more obsessive. Take care!!!